When it comes to a grandparent's relationship with their grandchildren, no connections are created equal. However, interestingly enough, research has shown that typically maternal grandparents are closer to grandchildren than paternal grandparents—though, of course, there's no hard and fast rule.
Here, we'll take a look at the differences between a child's relationship with their maternal vs. paternal grandparents, and what scientific studies can tell us about the differences between the two.
Maternal vs. Paternal Grandparents: Differences in Closeness
Some people may assume this difference is due to parents' role as gatekeepers between grandparents and parents. In spite of strides in gender equality, mothers in heterosexual relationships with cis men are still likely to direct their children's activities and take on the brunt of the emotional labor and household management . They may give heightened importance to contact with their own parents.
Of course, studies have identified many other factors that affect the closeness of a relationship. Geographical distance is one consideration, although many grandparents are willing to travel to see their grandchildren. A grandparent's employment status, health, economic status, and personality can also be influential factors.
Another variable is the number of grandchildren a grandparent has. A grandparent with many grandchildren may find it difficult to spend quality time and bond with each one.
The Role of Early Bonding With Grandparents
The preference for maternal grandparents may start early, with maternalgrandmothersanecdotally being more likely to beinvited into the delivery room. Similarly, the maternal grandmother is more likely to help out after the birth of a baby, facilitating earlybonding with the grandchild.
Similarly, research has shown the importance of a grandparent's involvement when it comes to maternal mental health. One study determined that grandparental support may protect birthing people from experiencing postpartum depression, especially those who are single parents. Postpartum depression is something that can affect anyone, and does impact approximately 1 in 8 birthing people. Having a support system from a grandparent can help with feelings of overwhelm or loneliness.
Teenagers' Relationships With Grandparents
Studies featuring teens show that the advantage of the maternal grandmother does not dissipate with time. Studies of teen grandchildren are especially valuable, because teens are presumably old enough to initiate some contact with grandparents on their own, and because they are old enough to draw competent conclusions about relationships.
In one study of British teens, the maternal grandmother was the most important family member outside of their immediate family. The maternal grandfather was next in ranking. Closeness was fostered, according to the teens, by involvement in their school lives. In addition, 8 out of 10 teens said that their maternal grandmothers had discussed their futures with them and had given the teens good advice.
Maternal vs. Paternal Grandparents and Divorce
The roles of maternal and paternal grandparents tend to diverge more widely when the parents of their grandchildren divorce. In spite of advances in gender equality, only 17.5% of fathers have primary custody after adivorce.When a mother wins custody in a heterosexual relationship, the maternal grandparents often step in to fill gaps in parenting and to provide stability to the family.
In the process, the maternal grandparents tend to become closer to their grandchildren. This may also occur with paternal grandparents when the father gets custody, but that is a comparatively less common event.
When the mother wins custody after a divorce, paternal grandparents tend to see their grandchildren less. They may, however, play an important role in facilitating contact between children and their paternal families.
Grandparents and Multigenerational Living
The preference for maternal grandparents isn't so clear when it comes to multigenerational living. If young people share households with their parents, cultural factors are likely to determine whether they will move in with maternal or paternal grandparents.
Of course, other considerations such as location and economics may override cultural patterns. Ethnic and religious cultures with strong familial ties comprise a greater proportion multigenerational homes.
The Bottom Line
Needless to say, the effort put forth by a grandparent is always going to be the biggest factor in whether grandparents and grandchildren have a closerelationship. Grandparents who want to be involved in the lives of their grandchildren and yet who manage to be respectful of parental roles have the highest likelihood of success. And this is true regardless of their position on the family tree.
FAQs
It's because the mother (now grandmother) and her adult daughter usually hold a close bond, far more intimate than the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law relationship.
Why is a maternal grandmother so important for a child? ›
A study has found that children benefit, socially and emotionally, from having a maternal grandmother. This is because in most urban societies the grandparents on the mother's side play a vital role in support and care when raising children. In particular, the mum's mum invest the most time in the grandchildren.
Why are we closer to our mom's side of the family? ›
It is normal for a child to be closer to one side of the family than the others but it makes no difference which side. It may be that they are physically closer as in the same area or have more time to relate to kids. Or it may be that the child is close to both side equally or to neither.
Which grandparent are you most likely to have the closest relationship with? ›
And feelings of closeness extend to their mother's side of the family. When it comes to grandparents, people are most likely to say they have a close relationship with their mother's mother, and least likely to say they have a close relationship with their father's father.
Why are grandparents more attached to grandchildren? ›
“The biggest difference being that my grandchildren tend to elicit strong feelings of joy and delight in me compared to my adult children,” she explained. “Even an intense curiosity about who they are, what's going on in their little minds, what interests them, who and what they will become.”
Why is the bond between grandparents and grandchildren so strong? ›
Grandparents help children gain a sense of history, heritage, and identity. They provide a vital connection to the past. Grandparents can pass on important family traditions and life stories that a grandchild will not only relish when young but will grow to appreciate even more over time.
Why are maternal grandparents better than paternal grandparents? ›
In the process, the maternal grandparents tend to become closer to their grandchildren. This may also occur with paternal grandparents when the father gets custody, but that is a comparatively less common event. When the mother wins custody after a divorce, paternal grandparents tend to see their grandchildren less.
What do children inherit from their maternal grandmother? ›
Specifically, maternal grandmothers have 25% X relatedness with both grandsons and granddaughters and both grandchildren are equally likely to inherit any one of her X-linked genes.
What does my maternal grandparents mean? ›
When applied to familial titles like grandfather, the adjectives maternal and paternal indicate whether the relation is through the person's mother or father. For example, a person's maternal grandfather is their mother's father, while a person's paternal grandfather is their father's father.
Are maternal grandparents closer to grandchildren? ›
In one study, children reported having stronger bonds with their maternal grandparents, particularly with their maternal grandmothers; the authors noted that the finding seemed especially significant given that kids are more likely to live near their paternal grandparents.
Role model: They teach their children how to behave, how to make decisions, and how to live a good life. Caregiver: Mothers are the primary caregivers for their children. They are responsible for meeting their children's basic needs such as food, shelter, and clothing.
Which parent are daughters closer to? ›
Predivorce family dynamics: In most intact families, sons and daughters are closer to their mothers than to their fathers.
Are maternal grandparents closer? ›
But researchers exploring family affiliations point out that a so-called “matrilineal advantage” does exist. That is, daughters generally have closer ties to their own parents than to their in-laws, which leads to warmer relationships between their children and the maternal grandparents.
Do grandparents love the first grandchild more? ›
It often appears they do because becoming a grandparent is such a novel experience to them that they dote and spend much more time and resources on the first. However, like with parents who have more than one child, love expands to include each child and likewise grandchild.
Do close grandparent grandchild relationships have healthy benefits? ›
A close relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is mutually beneficial when it comes to the health and well-being of both. Grandparents provide acceptance, patience, love, stability, wisdom, fun and support to their grandchildren.
Are babies closer to maternal grandparents? ›
In one study, children reported having stronger bonds with their maternal grandparents, particularly with their maternal grandmothers; the authors noted that the finding seemed especially significant given that kids are more likely to live near their paternal grandparents.
What do you inherit from your maternal grandfather? ›
So how much do you get from each grandparent? The percentage of DNA that you share with each grandparent is around 25%. It's true there are some pieces of DNA that are not passed on evenly from all 4 grandparents. But they overall make up a very small percentage of your total DNA.
What is the relationship between you and your maternal grandmother? ›
What is the relationship between me and my mother's grandmother? - Quora. She would be your great-grandmother. There is you, your mother, your grandmother (mother's mother), your great-grandmother (mother's grandmother). For each generation after that, add an extra 'great'.
